I don’t often hate but when I do I prefer to hate the Alabama Crimson Tide T-shirts

Okay, so there’s this weird little thing. This whole Alabama Crimson Tide T-shirts thing, yeah. Most days, I honestly wouldn’t give it a second thought. College sports? Fine. People wearing shirts of their preferred team? Whatever. I’m usually pretty chill about that kind of stuff. But then, on certain occasions, it just…gets to me. Like, I’m talking a deep seated, visceral reaction, that wells up from the gut. It’s not logical, it’s not even rational, but there it is, this simmering dislike, ready to be unleashed. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the sheer ubiquity. They’re everywhere, aren’t they? Every grocery store trip, every gas station stop, every time I pop over to my cousin’s, they’re there.
One time, I was at the airport, rushing to catch a flight back from seeing my Aunt June in Florida, stressed out of my mind because I was running late and the security line was insane, and right in front of me was a guy, towering over me, wearing this enormous, bright crimson shirt with the white “A”. Seriously, it felt like the shirt was radiating some kind of smug, self-satisfied glow. He was chatting away on his phone, completely oblivious to the chaos around him, and it just…pushed me over the edge. I think I audibly sighed and rolled my eyes, causing him to swivel around and give me a quizzical look, which just amplified my irritation.

I don’t often hate but when I do I prefer to hate the Alabama Crimson Tide T-shirtsdetails

It’s not the team itself. I mean, they’re good, undeniably so. Everyone acknowledges that. They win a lot, and more power to them. I’m not a hater of success; I just…it’s the relentless visual presence, I suppose. It’s like a visual soundtrack, that follows you everywhere. And the whole “Roll Tide” thing? Please. I suppose it’s catchy, I guess I’ve heard worse, but the constant chanting is something else.

I remember once, during a family barbecue, my Uncle Joe, a die-hard fan, wouldn’t stop talking about them the whole afternoon. Everything became a comparison or a metaphor related to a football game, no matter what we were discussing. It started with the burgers being cooked “like a championship defense” and ended with him trying to analyze his tomato plants, saying they were showing “championship form.” I eventually went inside and stayed there.

Description for I don’t often hate but when I do I prefer to hate the Alabama Crimson Tide T-shirts

Perhaps it’s a simple case of visual saturation. The logo, the colors, it all becomes a constant presence, like a slightly annoying mosquito buzzing around your head. It’s not necessarily that the shirt itself is badly designed; in fact, the font is quite clean. But when you see it repeatedly, in every situation, it starts to grate on your nerves. Or maybe there’s an element of playful rivalry, that I haven’t quite admitted to myself yet.
So, when the Alabama Crimson Tide T-shirts come out of the closet, I just take a deep breath, and mutter to myself something like: “Oh, there they are, again,” then roll my eyes. I probably look ridiculous, admittedly. But hey, at least I’m expressing my genuine, if slightly irrational, dislike, you know? And at least I don’t have to wear one. That would be something.